Updates

Sorry we are so bad at posting new blogs. I just posted a bunch of pictures on our website (you can click on it from the side bar). We will post some more soon of pictures from the live Nativity that our family did last Saturday and again this coming Saturday. Samuel was the cutest Shepherd ever! Speaking of Samuel, he is at my side right now, determined to read EVERY Community Chest card and Chance card form the Monopoly game. He actually can read most of the words. I am just impressed that he can endure a whole game of Monopoly on his own. Sometimes, he wants to quit (especially when he loses, which is every time), but we don't let him, and he continues to want to play with his brothers. He's learning good math skills as well, as he counts his money, which makes me feel better since we gave them the month of December off from school. Can you call it school if they are reading and doing math and learning all about the real estate world? : ) It just makes me feel better to think that. We decided that things were getting a bit crazy around here, so we thought a break would be good for all of us, and work on some character issues and have some fun together.

After our vacation to NC (we leave Christmas Day), we will come back and hit the ground running again. It has been a good month for reflecting - especially my trip to NY last week. I SO needed that and the Lord opened my eyes to see some things that I needed to see. I will also post pictures from that trip as well. I have to wait for Dave to put them on the computer because I don't know how to do that part. : )

Blessings to you all and pray you have a Merry Christmas! May Christ be truly honored in your lives this Holiday season...

Giving Thanks

We just returned home from Dave's parents in North Carolina. I don't know what it is, but every time we go there, we just have a great time - and we pretty much just relax. Dave's parents are so great, and after hearing some thanksgiving stories of my friends and family, I am SO thankful for my in-laws. We can't wait to go back on Christmas day to see the rest of the family. Our boys are looking forward to it almost as much as we are. : )

We began a couple of new traditions this year for Thanksgiving, and prayerfully will do similar things for all the holidays. We seem to get so caught up in the preparations FOR the holiday that we often skip the PURPOSE of the holiday. We really want to make memories for our kids to truly embrace the meaning of WHY we celebrate these holidays. We got a few ides from the FamilyLife website. We purchased the Thanksgiving book by Barbara Rainey that explains the whole story of the pilgrims and read it to the boys over the course of a few days (I think I was sleeping in elementary school when we learned all that, because other than the pilgrim's coming over on the Mayflower, I did not know a whole lot. And while Dave was reading, I was the only one asking questions) : ) One thing we did was had the boys trace their hand on a piece of paper and Dave made a turkey out of it. Then we wrote 5 things (one on each finger) we were thankful for, for each person that would be around the table. The boys colored them and then we matted them and had them laminated for place mats (I will put pictures on our website soon). It was a great exercise and helps us to appreciate even those we don't know so well. Another thing we did, was we all wrote 5 things we were thankful for on an index card before dinner. We had 5 kernels of corn on each plate (a reminder of the daily rations that the pilgrim's had to live on) and as we passed a basket each person would drop a kernel of corn and say one thing they were thankful for. The basket went around 5 times. It was great to hear 65 different things of gratitude. I loved hearing my boys being thankful for Jesus.

At this time, I am thankful for so many things. One thing is in response to the last post. God has really been stretching us in the area of finances, and we have learned to live on less rations as well. Not nearly where the pilgrims were, so that made me extremely grateful as we read their story. Our boys have been aware of the struggle because there has been many times we had to say no to things because we could not spend the money. I think this has been the best thing for all of us - I think it has really developed a attitude of gratitude in all of us. I will explain: The Friday before we left for NC, we received a very large paycheck. It was enough to pay back the 2 weeks we were behind and pay the all the bills for the week. There was extra money as well. Oh the temptation to want to go out and celebrate. But instead, we thought it wise to fund the envelopes for the rest of our bills for the month, which we were able to do. What a blessing that was! While we were away, Dave received another paycheck,and since our bills were already paid for the month, we decided to put money in an envelope for Christmas.

Our plans for Christmas this year is to go to the Children's Home on Christmas morning and spend the day with the 7 children in the Foster home. Ever since we began the tradition of either going to South America for Christmas to the give Christmas to the kids, or just sending them gifts, we all (my whole extended family) want to somehow keep up with that type of tradition. My sister is organizing it and got a list of things that the home needs. The other night, I told my boys that we had set a certain amount of money aside for Christmas for them. I asked them if they wanted us to buy them gifts or use it for the kids in the home. Without giving it one thought, they said, "Give it to the kids, we don't need anything." I thought that was awesome, but didn't know if they were just trying to say the right thing. So I said, "Let's just say that mommy and daddy were going to buy you a Wii (the video game system they really want) for Christmas, would you still make the same decision?" David and Jonathan both said that although that makes it harder, they felt in their heart, that we should give it to the kids. I could not have felt prouder of them. In spite of our sin and selfishness, God continues to work in the hearts of our boys and it humbles me. I WOULD NOT have made that choice if I were them. And I take no credit for the decision they made.

So we decided to go shopping yesterday for some items on the list and the boys helped pick out the stuff. We were looking for a good family movie to buy for the home, and we came across the shelf of Christmas movies. I picked up a Dennis The Mennis Christmas movie and said, "Oh that looks cute." Jonathan said, "Mommy we didn't come here to shop for us" (something I had said to Samuel several times already). David replied, "Jonathan, mommy can buy us a movie if she wants to." In which Jonathan said, "We don't need it, we have enough stuff." So needless to say, I put it back.

You know, sometimes I feel so inadequate as a parent and wonder if I am really pleasing God with the raising of my children. Sometimes, particularly with David, I feel so out of my league with how to teach and train him. I am still trying to figure out what "Surrender" really means in the area of parenting. Sometimes I feel like Job when his friends had a lot of opinions about why he was suffering, only I actually believe them. It is a difficult battle to simply trust God with your life, instead of trying to control it. I used to be so prideful before I had children. I thought I had all the answers. Now I feel like I don't have any, and it is often overwhelming. I know the Lord had pierced my heart in this area, and I still have so much to learn. I can feel the battle within. My flesh still wants to fight against what I believe the Lord is trying to teach me. I still want to control because somehow I still feel it is a reflection of me. I think God is more concerned about HIS reflection. I think too many times in the past I have made myself believe that the things I did and the choices I made was to reflect Christ when ultimately I just wanted to look good to others. God knows as well as I do, that my prideful thoughts and actions do not reflect Him in any way, as much as I may want to convince myself that they do. As long as I can hold it together on the outside, that will reflect God. I know better. That is what God has been teaching me. It is my heart He wants. And if my outward appearance looks foolish for awhile, while He gives me a heart transplant, over time, the outside will come.

I think journaling this story of my kids has helped me to see that this is just one example of what God can do when I surrender to Him. He was working when I wasn't even aware. All the worrying that I do about my parenting is so futile. I guess I thought of surrender as doing nothing. But it is not doing nothing. It is keeping a vibrant, active relationship with Jesus, and watching for when His Spirit moves in me and THEN act on it. So often I move before He does. It goes against my personality to sit back and do nothing. But I am still learning. I want nothing more than for my boys to know and love the Lord with all their heart, and the only good parent that can teach them that is God. I am the vessel He chose to use to teach them, so my job is to listen to what He tells me to do. If I am not actively seeking Him and listening, I will miss it and be found guilty of complacency and laziness. If you have a personality like mine, you understand. If you have a tendency toward complacency, you will accuse me of being too hard on myself. And I am often guilty of that. However, I feel the Lord is wanting to lift that burden off of me by asking me to simply seek His face and listen...

There is much gratitude in my heart today for the Lord and His tender mercy toward me. I am so unworthy of His love and grace. I have so far to go and I am thankful for His love and that He accepts me as I am, but loves me too much to keep me that way. His standards are high, but He never intended for me to meet them in my own strength.

I pray that I will never settle for anything less than holiness, and that I seek His face moment by moment and that the Holy Spirit will guide me through the center of God's perfect will for my life.

To the one who is able to keep me from falling......

God is good!

I know that title sounds so churchy - something someone would say when things go the way they want them to. But how about when things don't go the way we want them to? It is not as easy to say that God is good. Why is it so hard to see and know and feel God's goodness when we are hurting?

So many times in the past, I found myself praying so much harder in times of need. Deep down in my heart, I really did want to know God, but at that moment I was more desperate for His answers than simply just to know Him. It was a difficult transition from praying for God to move on my behalf, to just simply knowing Him. It's easier said than done, when you have a sick child, or you were thrown into a situation that you have no clue how to handle, or you have bills to pay and the money is not there. God has given us a greater revelation of Himself through all these difficult times. The message we continued to hear was how we needed to surrender ourselves to Him. HOW to surrender was the question. How do you lay your burdens at the foot of the cross and leave them there - without the temptation to pick them back up again?

I say all that background to get to this point. When it came to finances (with Dave working on commission most of his 11 years at Cornerstone), we have been desperate at times, but at worst, we MAYBE went a week or two without a paycheck. During that 11 years, Dave left Cornerstone to start his own business. This year was probably the most difficult financially (as we went $14,000.00 into debt), yet Spiritually, it was the best of our married years. God taught us so much that year, but interestingly, being a good steward wasn't one of them. When I say being a good steward, I do not mean just living within our means, but seeing everything that we own as belonging to God. We said it all belonged to God, but lived as if it belonged to us. It wasn't until now, that we are truly understanding that it all belongs to God.

Over the past few months, as paychecks have been slim to none, we have questioned God's provision. I began to wonder if God supplies all our needs, than what was the reason we did not have enough money to pay our bills. We prayed for provision, but did not see it coming in. Not once did we think God was not doing His part, but questioned what WE may have been doing wrong. God is a keeper of His Word, and if He says He will provide, then He will.

A few months ago I decided to look back at our past 6 months of paychecks. I realized that had we been living as tightly as we were for the past couple of months, we actually would be pretty close to on target to pay all our bills. This made us realize that only God knows what things we need to prepare for (like an economy crash), and we cannot live like it belongs to us. I don't know about others, but we don't usually prepare for a crisis.

A few weeks ago, as I was having my time with the Lord one morning, I began to pray that the Lord would provide a paycheck that week. (At that point we had gone 5 out of 7 weeks without one). It seemed that my desperateness for a paycheck was not what it was in the past, even though times were more desperate now. The reason why is because we felt God was refining our hearts SO much in this area, that I feared that getting a paycheck would send us back into our old ways. I wanted this mindset to stick. I know this may sound strange to some, but God had so much more to teach us. I remember just crying before the Lord that day, with joy, because I felt for the first time of ever coming before the Lord with any kind of desperateness, that my desire to KNOW HIM, was greater than my desire to receive something FROM Him. I felt a peace in my heart, as God reminded me of the story of Jeremiah and how He is the re-builder of ancient ruins. God put my heart to rest, that although we may struggle a little more in the area of finances, and maybe even go more into debt, that in His perfect timing He will repay it all back.

There was a time in my life I would never have wanted to share any of this (Pride). But I wanted to share this story on the other side of a miracle. After God works it all out, it is so much easier to share the story. But today, God is still God, and we KNOW He will provide. Not in the way we thought, but the lessons learned will be worth the wait. When we were financially stable, we missed so much of a hurting, dying world. We were so selfish with how we spent our money. We helped others and gave whenever we saw a need, but never did we sacrifice ourselves in order to give. God has truly humbled us during this time - especially through those who DO sacrifice to give. As we began raising support for full time ministry, we have seen so many things concerning finances. Many people are struggling financially more than ever due to the economy, yet we can see sacrifice on the part of so many.

There is so much more on this topic, but for sake of time I will end with this sweet story:

We have a precious, 78 year old woman, living in a trailer, on Social Security on our support team. She is my mentor and friend. She has been a constant source of love and encouragement in my life and honors God with how she lives her life. A few months ago, she sent us a check in the mail, saying she would pledge a certain amount monthly as long as she could afford to do it. Every month may be different, but she would try to send something. We noticed the past two months that she was sending multiple checks, and this month we received three. Knowing how little she has, I called her today to make she she understood what was going on. She had no idea this happened. She said she just writes a check every time she gets an envelope in the mail. She did not realize an envelope is immediately mailed once a check is received. At first she was concerned because she thought a check may bounce because she does not have that kind of money. Once she realized her checkbook was fine and nothing had bounced she said, "You know sweetheart, every time I write a check, I say, 'Lord, I wish I could give them so much more', and so God went ahead and did it for me."

I am so humbled by this precious woman of God, who financially had nothing her whole life and raised two children on her own who grew to know and love the Lord. As she lives the last years of her life she will never regret not having nice things, or think of all the vacations she could have gone on. God has truly provided every thing she has needed and the legacy of faith she leaves to so many, not just her own children, is something you cannot place a dollar on.

I pray I never lose sight of the reality that God has so much more to offer just by knowing Him, than any amount of money, friends, family or health. Knowing Him is truly the greatest blessing I can have. There is no greater joy than having a revelation of who God is and what He wants to show me in my life. It has been so fun to watch Him work in my husband and my boys as well.

Back in June, I posted this poem by Beth Moore. Rather than going back and finding it again, I pasted it here, because I think it so so appropriate for the topic. It just encourages me to keep trusting.

The Life I Planned

Has someone seen the life I planned?
It seems it's been replaced
I've looked in every corner
It's lost without a trace

I've found one I don't recognize
Things missing that were dear
Promises I'd hope to keep
And dreams I'd dreamed aren't here

Faces I had planned to see
Hands I planned to hold
Now absent in the pictures
Not the way I told.

Has someone seen the life I planned?
Did it get thrown away?
God took my hand from searching
Then I heard Him say

"Child, your ears have never heard
Your eyes have never seen
Eternal plans I have for you
Are more than you can dream."

"You long to walk by sight
But I'm teaching eyes to see.
I know what I am doing
'Til then, you must believe."

He's done so much, I felt ashamed
To know He heard my moans
To think I'd trade in all he's done
For plans made on my own.

I wept over His faithfulness
And how He'd proved Himself
How He'd gone beyond my dreams
And said to Him myself,

"No, my ears have never heard
My eyes have never seen
Eternal plans you have for me
And more than I could dream."

"Yes, I long to walk by sight
But you're teaching eyes to see
You know what you are doing
'Til then, I must believe."

I felt His great compassion
Mercy unrestrained
He let me mourn my losses
And showed to me my gains

I offered Him my future
And released to Him my past
I traded in my dreams
For a plan He said would last.

I get no glimpse ahead
No certainties at all
Except the presence of the One
Who will never let me fall.

Are you also searching
For a life you planned yourself?
Have you looked in every corner?
Have you checked on every shelf?

Child, your ears have never heard
Your eyes have never seen
Eternal plans I have for you
And more than you can dream.

Perhaps you long to walk by faith
But He's teaching eyes to see
He knows what He is doing
Child, step out and believe.


"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what
God has prepared for those who love Him."
1 Corinthians 2:9

Our New Website

We have finally set up our website. There is still much work to be done, but it is up. You can go to it at www.cooke.ministryhome.org . We will add a link to the side bar as well.

I am sorry I have not posted anything new in awhile (there was a request) : ) I will have to say that we have been learning much through this process but for me, some of it is so personal it literally is painful at times. In a good way, but almost embarrassing. God continues to refine my heart and I see sin that I have never seen before. Sometimes I want to look at others and say, "But God what about them?" I feel JUST LIKE MY BOYS WHEN I DO THAT. They are constantly pointing the finger at one of their brothers when they get caught arguing with each other. I will say this: This battle that I am going through spiritually is learning how to love others. And not just be kind to them or even to overlook offenses ( I'm getting really good at that) : ) But to love like Jesus loves; To see people the way Jesus sees them. Jesus loves unconditionally and when He was offended and spit upon and beaten, He loved. Enough to die for them. He had compassion and went out of His way to love. He had mercy. He had NO pride. Love is not selfish and I am learning that. I will end there and share more about that in the future. Dave has been saying forever, that he wants to post something but he is SO busy with work and raising support, he doesn't have much time. I'll get him to post something soon though.

If you are a regular visitor (or even a new visitor), we love to read your comments. It always encourages us to hear from you.

Blessings to you all.....

Challenged to LIVE IT!

I have been wanting to post something about my trip to see my friend in Illinois, and life just seems to fly by so fast. That whole trip went by TOO fast. I already want to plan the next one, but I don't think it will happen until after we move. : (

On the way home from the conference (we had a 6 hour drive), my friend asked me what was the one thing I took away from the conference. Ya know, I can say the conference was absolutely awesome and we had a great time, but not one thing that was said really stuck out to me. That is not usual for me. Some really great things were said, and I took lots of notes, but typically I will have at least one thing I feel challenged about, and I really didn't.

I had several convictions during the conference but really none were about what the speakers said. As I sat there to think about my friends question, the answer came to me about what I was going to take home with me. I will have to backtrack though.....

When we arrived at the conference center in Nashville, it was exactly 7:00pm, the time the conference started so we were hurrying to get in. On our way in, we saw a homeless man with a white Styrofoam cup asking for money. We stopped and my friend put some money in his cup (she always has the cash) : ) We talked to him for a couple of minutes and then he asked us if we would pray for him. We asked him his name and said of course we would. He said, "No, will you pray for me right now?" So we bowed and prayed for him right there. During the prayer, he kept saying "Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus." We shared a few more words and then went inside. As we entered the building, I just felt like a hypocrite. Here we are going into this "Christian" conference and ignoring this man on the street. We didn't even ask him if he knew Jesus. My friend asked if I wanted to go back out and I said yes. So we went and found Bill. My friend did ask Bill if he knew Jesus and he said, "Yes, I walked faithfully with the Lord for 6 years." When we asked him what happened he just responded, "I made some bad choices." This man sat and quoted scripture to us, AND encouraged US. We got to encourage him as well, and he felt so blessed and thanked us for taking the time to stop and listen.

Another thing that happened during the conference was at lunch time. After walking the streets of Nashville for 30 minutes trying to find a place to eat lunch (with 20,000 other women), we decided to just back to the conference center to eat there. We ended up waiting on line for an hour and a half! It wasn't the waiting that got me frustrated, it was the lady behind me that was complaining about others cutting the line while she continued to push her way in front of us; And it was the man behind the counter who obviously didn't have any respect for OUR time as he took HIS time taking TEN minutes to get ONE dish of nachos! Granted, this frustration was all inside, and people would not have known it.

The last incident I will mention, is a couple of hours later I received a very discouraging phone call that really got me down. We have received some opposition about being in ministry, but this one person in particular has just hit me hard. It bothered me that my joy was robbed, and I had to refocus myself.

Now there really is something in common with these three scenarios. I didn't really think of it until my friend asked me what I was going to take home from the conference. A couple of posts ago, I mentioned this recurring theme of events that continues to happen in my life lately and that God is definitely up to teaching me something. Well, these situations just add to it. The bottom line is that God is refining my heart. I cannot tell you how many times I think I am justified by my actions and God asks me about the attitude of my heart.

In a nutshell this is what I told my friend. "I don't think God wants to fill me with any more knowledge of Him until I can live out the knowledge I already have. I am challenged to LIVE church not just play church. I think in essence that is what we are doing when we pass a homeless guy on the street and walk proudly into a women's conference, raise your hands in worship to the Lord, and then quickly get aggravated with a girl because she is trying to cut the line. And I allowed Satan to steal my joy with a phone call, because I care too much about myself and not about bringing glory to God."

Ultimately I DO want to bring glory to God, and I am thankful that God is teaching me how prideful I am. Over the past few months, He continues to whisper in my ear, "You are so prideful." I argue a little, because I am trying to understand why I do not have ANY rights to be upset over these situations, especially the one regarding the phone call. This is a particularly difficult area for me NOT to hold onto my rights because it is SO hurtful. I feel God has humbled me so much already and one day I just heard Him say, "You are are on your knees, but I want you on your face." I just sat and cried, because I knew exactly what He meant and I saw how I was trying to hold onto those rights, and He only wants me to be free to worship and trust Him, regardless of those hurts. But the difficulty in all this for me, is that I am not just required to overlook this offense, but God is calling me to love. This relationship will not go away, and every time a dagger is thrown, I have to hold up my shield of faith, deflect it, and turn around and love! If I am honest, I will say this is not easy. But I DO see the blessing of being free to love those who hurt you. My friend asked me how we choose to be broken. My answer in my limited knowledge is we don't. We learn to be broken. God chooses the circumstances to break us. We can then choose to recognize the area of sin and repent, or we can ignore it.

As I have been on this process of sowing to the Spirit and keeping short accounts with God, I have felt the Spirit flow through my life like never before. A friend asked me the other night how I define joy. Again, in my limited knowledge, it is being able to have hope in God because you know He is in control. Even in the midst of hardship and tears flowing, joy is being able to lift my hands in worship because of who HE is, not because of what my circumstance is. I am experiencing joy in that way like I never have before. It is because God is refining my heart~to look like His. And His heart is so perfect, so it is a painful process to be called on so many accounts. I am just in awe of how determined He is to make my heart look like His. And He has always wanted that for me, I was just not willing to fully surrender ALL my rights to Him. It is so not worth sacrificing the power of the Holy Spirit in my life, so I can get to a conference on time, or be sure I keep my place in line, or to be determined to not let myself be hurt by another.

So that is what I take home from the conference. No matter where I am, I am required to LIVE the Christian life, not just play it or talk about it. I am challenged to take what I know and LIVE it! To take God's Word more seriously; To love the unlovely; to overlook the offense; to forgive whether someone deserves to be forgiven or not; to give grace!

I will close with this song that is running through my mind: Change my heart O God, make it ever true; Change my heart O God, may I be like you...

On Vacation

I am currently in Illinois visiting my friend (Toknowhim). I am by myself so I am getting lots of work done (I brought stuff to work on while she is a t work.

It is funny, but when my friend moved to Illinois over 3 years ago she met a lady at her church who had an older son with Asperger's Syndrome, which is what my son has. I had contacted her about 3 years ago and she has been a wonderful mentor to me. It's neat how you can connect so easily to a perfect stranger when you have so much in common.

Well, last night I had an opportunity to meet with her and once again, she was a great source of encouragement to me. I am so grateful for her and the blessing she has been to me. She is walking a path that I am currently on, but she is way ahead of me. It is such a blessing to have her to share the things she is currently learning and to share the mistakes to avoid. Thank you Becky, for the godly example that you set before me!

Today, my friend and I leave to go to Nashville, TN (A 6 hour drive) to go to a women's conference. We are so excited. We get to see Beth Moore, Priscilla Shire, and Kay Arthur. Worship will be led by Travis Cotrell and Anthony Evans. It doesn't get much better than that. Great speakers, great worship, and a great friend. I am grateful for this opportunity to get away as life has been very busy for us. It has been good to get some work done too, that I have not had a chance to do.

I am sure my friend will post something about our trip when she gets back, and probably have some pictures too. You can go check out her blog from the side bar (Toknowhim). If you go there now, you can read a post that I wrote about her while she was at work, titled, "A teasured Friend".

~Blessings,
Christina

Joy In The Journey

Can I just start out by saying that GOD IS GOOD!?!? That may not be a surprise to anyone reading this, but my heart rejoices in Him today even through hurt and disappointment. The past few weeks have brought on some very discouraging circumstances. This process that we are going through is THE most difficult time we have had as a family, yet because of where are hearts are at with the Lord, it does not feel as overwhelming as the less trying times in the past. I hope that makes sense. As God turns up the fire in the refining process, we are are learning to withstand the heat. We have so much hope because of all the ways we have seen Him work through our lives in the past. There has not been a difficult time that we have experienced in the past that has brought on so much joy. Disappointments as well, but because the Lord is teaching us HOW to deal with disappointment, He is turning them to joy.

Several things have happened in the last couple of weeks that caused a friend of mine to say, "Christina, I think God is trying to teach you something here." The same type of frustrating thing happened 3 times in a week. Then 2 weeks later, a few other events happened that were tough and we once again had to learn to keep our focus on Christ and not be tempted to take Him off the throne. Which I regret to say that I think I was sitting on the throne for about a week before I realized it. God has been teaching us an amazing lesson of how our sin keeps us from walking in fellowship with Him and hearing His voice in our lives. Like in the previous posts, I talked about how our focus needs to be on Him and sowing to the Spirit instead of trying harder. God has made it so clear to me that instead of trying harder, so I can have the power of the Holy Spirit in my life, that I need to break down that brick wall of sin that keeps the Spirit from working. So the past couple of months, as a family, we have been learning to confess our sin to each other rather than justify our attitudes and disappointments. This is so humbling, and it brings so much freedom to our hearts once we've gotten to the place where we can truly put Christ on the throne. God is teaching me how I cannot just SAY I want Him on the throne, when my heart is not in the right place. He is showing me that my heart is what needs to be pure, not my actions ~ and THAT is what is going to release the Spirit's power in my life.

We are making it a priority to learn from every frustration and disappointment that comes our way. It seems God is purging our hearts from so much pride and self reliance. The other night, for the first time as a couple, we literally got on our knees and prayed for about an hour together. We did this because we have come to a place where we realize how desperate we are to be intimate with the Lord, lest we accidentally go down a path He has not called us to go down. We realized in the past couple of weeks that our faith has been weak, and we have not been trusting God enough. If we trust Him to guide our path, then we had better be on our knees asking Him to show us that path. Then when HE reveals the path, we can walk in faith and confidence. We will make many mistakes along our way, and probably travel down the wrong path more times than we'd like to admit, but when these disappointments and frustrations come, we need to see that as the Lord opposing our path, and showing us a different one. Some of these disappointments have happened when we were on the right path (because God's intention was for us to learn through them), but when we allow the disappointments to keep us down, we have learned nothing. We are learning that God is so much more in control than we ever gave Him credit for.

I will end with a couple of really neat miracles that the Lord has done through our son David. When we first started this journey, David was very angry and could not believe God could change his heart about moving to Arkansas. I believe there is an earlier post about his feelings about all of it. And the reason I posted those things is because we were so confident we were walking down the path God has called us, that we knew God would eventually change David's heart. We just didn't know if that would be on the front end of moving or the back end. But either way, we knew that God would not call us down a path that my son could not handle.

Last week, I spoke to someone on the phone that expressed some concerns she had heard from others about our move (about how this would affect David). When I got off the phone I asked David, "David, there are some people that are concerned about you in this move to Arkansas. What do you think about that?" He said, "Oh mommy, I think it is wonderful that you and daddy are going to work for FamilyLife. You are going to help other people in their marriages and families." (I smiled) and continued, "Yes, but how will that affect YOU?" He said, "Mommy, if God has called us to go than we HAVE to go!" (I smiled again) and continued, "Yes, But how does that make YOU FEEL?" He said, "Mommy, at first I was angry, but God has changed my heart. I was worried that I would not have friends, and God has already provided friends." I am so proud of my son that he is adopting the legacy of faith that we so desperately want all our children to have ~ a faith that prayerfully someday will surpass ours.

This morning, I was talking to my dad about some things that David overheard. It was concerning our support. When I got off the phone, David realized by the conversation what we were talking about. Without going into details, we have to backtrack our percentage (for now) about 20%. Now that's a bummer! Before today, we were 45% funded. Now we are 25%. David said, "Mommy, how faithful are you that we are supposed to do this?" I said, "100%." He said, "Than you can handle more of a loss than that!" Oh how I pray that some adults can have as much faith as this precious 12 year old boy! Man, has he stretched mine!

So even in the midst of yet more disappointments, we praise a holy God who is in control and gives us great joy as we put all our trust in Him.

~To the one who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or imagine......